“Hello fans, this is your sports reporter ‘Stan the Man’ reporting from the opening of the NASCAR Hall of Fame Museum here in Charlotte, North Carolina. We are here today to witness the grand opening of this fine museum and try to get some feedback from the fans on what having this museum here in Charlotte means to them. Here comes someone now, let’s see if he’ll talk to us.

“Hello sir? I’m ‘Stan the Man,’ sports reporter for channel 15 here in Charlotte. Could we speak to you a moment?”

“Well, I left my hammer at home so I can’t really stop you, can I?”

“Don’t pay any attention to him; he’s just joking about the hammer!”

“And you are?”

“I’m his wife, Margie. We watch you all the time, Mr. Man.”

“Well Margie, what is your husband’s name?”

“Excuse me, but I have been able to speak for myself since the age of four and a half or so, I think I can answer your question there, Mr. Man. My given name is Bubba Cal Johnson. You can call me Bubba.”

“Is that it? I mean, that’s your real name?”

“I did leave out Junior - Momma calls me that, it seems to drive my daddy crazy every time she calls me. I don’t know why his nerves are shot. I guess from 30 years working in the mill, I reckon. He seems to flinch every time he hears her call, ‘Junior, Junior.’”

“Well, Mr. Bubba Johnson, what do you think of our new NASCAR Hall of Fame Museum?”

“I don’t rightly know Mr. Man, I haven’t seen it yet.”

“Well, what do you think of the outside so far?”

“It’s as purty as a new pair of bib overalls on Christmas morning!”

“Are you much of a sports fan, Bubba?”

“Naw, I used to try to follow some of them other sports, but when it comes to the sporting life it’s hard to beat swapping paint going 200 mph on a banked curve at Charlotte Motor Speedway, you know? Now when I hear someone talking about some playoff or something, I generally have to ask what kind of ball they were using. This generally ends my entry into most sports conversations.”

“I see. Well, we’re happy you are here and we hope you enjoy strolling through the museum. Any parting words before we leave you, Bubba?”

“Yea just a little - I would like to thank NASCAR for putting this museum here in Charlotte where it belongs and not down in Florida. And another thing, if you are trying to find out what the fans think of this place, maybe it would be a good idea to ask them on the way out, not on the way in, or pretty soon you’ll be ‘Stan the Fan’ instead of ‘Stan the Man.’ And get out of that suit for heaven sakes you look like a revanoover. You ain’t from around here are you, boy?”

Bubba could be heard for quite a ways as his loving wife Margie gently dragged him towards the entrance to the NASCAR Hall of Fame Museum in Charlotte, North Carolina.

“Well, that’s the story here, this is ‘Stan the Man’ sending it back to the studio. It’s all yours, Walter.”

I’ll be right back.

You can reach Joe Lee at clevelandtidbits@yahoo.com.