“Earl? Earl! Get down here to breakfast or we’re gonna be late to services!”

Earl came gingerly down the stairs, limping a bit due to the new shoes, but awfully proud of the cut of the crisp new bib overalls he was sporting this morning.

He took his seat at the head of the large country table and dug into the sausage, eggs, hash browns, toast, and cooked apples. Spreading a little sausage gravy on a piece of too hard toast, Earl replied, “I sure hate to drink coffee before going to meeting, you know how it runs right through me.”

Aunt Betsey watched Earl devouring a full plate in less than two minutes and replied, “Oh yeah, it’s the coffee that does it. The rest of it just settles around the middle of them overalls for the day.”

The organ music was playing softly as Earl and Betsey took their familiar seats. The children were laughing and running around, until there was the call to choir service. When the choir sang the whole congregation joined in too, so Earl never could see any sense in trekking up to sit in the choir to sing. Besides, if you went up there you were stuck up there for the whole service. You’re looking at the back of the preacher’s head and everyone in the congregation is looking at you. The heck with that!

The children were led off to children’s church after the singing, and the customary offering was collected. Earl had noticed the new organist for the church wasn’t as talented as the old one had been. There were several times during the singing that the whole choir flinched when hearing a sour note.

The preacher slowly arose out of his padded chair and made his way to the podium.

“My friends, it’s good to see the house of the Lord so full of good God fearing people this morning. I believe it does the heart and soul good to bear witness and share our strengths and weaknesses, one with another. So I would ask each of you that feel the need to stand and relate to us anything on your mind.”

The preacher returned to his padded arm chair and waited. There was the usual assortment of regulars that stood and related the same sort of commitment and failures, but then as the silence filled the sanctuary waiting for the next exclamation of reverence, there was a high pitched squeal sound as if air was being slowly squeezed out of a balloon, followed by a sound resembling a flat tire going 80 on the freeway - a sort of flub-flub-flub sound. The accompanying aroma had more people flinching than the previous sour notes on the organ had accomplished. There was a general wave of uneasiness as the sound and the fury seemed to go on and on.

Before the preacher could get out of his padded arm chair and make it to the podium, Earl slowly stood. His face showed the pain from his new shoes as he looked out over the congregation and up into the choir. His face hanging lower than any mule in Johnston County, he slowly spoke three little words that changed the atmosphere of the situation from slightly humorous contempt, to god-fearing love and understanding.

Earl said, “I’ve been sick!”

I’ll be right back.

You can reach Joe Lee at clevelandtidbits@yahoo.com.