“Port-Au-Prince, Haiti- Haitians piled bodies along the devastated streets of their capital Wednesday after the strongest earthquake hit the poor Caribbean nation in more than 200 years crushed thousands of structures, from schools and shacks to the National Palace and the U.N. peacekeeping headquarters. Untold numbers are still trapped.”
Like today’s natural disaster in Haiti, our nation has suffered another sort of disaster that has also cost the U.S. thousands of lives and billions of dollars. This disaster, however, has been anything but natural. It is the disaster of alcohol and drug addiction.
Today, more than 22 million Americans, ages 12 and older, require treatment for an alcohol or drug problem. As many as 63 percent of our nation’s citizens report that addiction to alcohol or other drugs has had an impact on them at some point in their lives.
True and lasting recovery is the only reliable route to rescue and escape from any addiction. If you are a friend or family member watching from outside the “epicenter of addiction,” I am sure you long for a way to help the one you love to not only stumble back to his/her feet, but stand apart from addiction with strength and courage. To rebuild a life devastated by the earthquake of addiction, it is important to understand what recovery is and where to find it. This leads me to ask:
What is recovery?
A. Abstinence from any addictive substance.
B. Graduation from a licensed treatment facility.
C. The point at which you can responsibly use the substance to which you were previously addicted.
D. Active and continually evolving behavior changes. If you answered:
A. This is the most common misunderstanding about the recovery process. Recovery is much more than simply abstaining from any substance. It is about learning to fill the void you once attempted to fill with your addiction to a substance/behavior.
B. Too many people have faked their way through licensed treatment facilities to make this even a remote possibility or “long-shot” for being the correct answer.
C. Many addicts have “responsibly using the substance” as their unspoken goal for treatment. To truly recover, you must be willing to permanently let go of the substance/behavior that has devastated your life and kept your life on shaky ground.
D. Correct. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America defines recovery as- “A constellation of changes in behavior and outlook made by the addict to abstain permanently from drinking and drug use, to improve emotional well-being, to relate to others in a more positive way, to find new ways of spending leisure time, and to develop alternative ways of coping with stress.
“Recovery involves active, continually evolving behavior changes.”
Here are some guidelines for confronting a loved one who has been trapped by addiction:
▪ Don’t confront the person when he/she is drunk or high.
▪ Establish a time to talk when you can have more than a few minutes alone.
▪ Make sure he/she can feel how deeply you care.
▪ Stick to the facts by listing behaviors you have observed and avoid making it personal.
▪ Don’t lecture by creating a two-way dialogue.
▪ Don’t speculate or explore motives.
▪ Try talking to him/her privately before planning a full intervention.
▪ Don’t expect a dramatic shift in thinking or behavior right away.
Being the first to break through his/her denial is the best you can hope for.
Addiction has the power to shatter lives and shake even the strongest family systems. Untold numbers are still trapped by this unnatural disaster.
If a friend or family member is at the epicenter of addiction, point him/her toward the most reliable route of escape—the road to recovery. Curtis Dean Hall M.S. is a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist. His book, “A Girl’s Guide to Psychos, Players, Punks and Pervs: How to Become the Ultimate Guy-Detector,” came out in print in November 2008.
Visit www.curtisdeanhall.com for more information.
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